1. Desire the Spirit

Sis. Beck gave a talk in the April 2010 general conference that was very influential in my life. It was called "And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit." It is all about how important personal revelation is and how we can achieve it. I prepared a family home evening lesson based on this talk only a few days after it was given. Here's the list that I made comprising the steps necessary to receive personal revelation as prescribed in Sis. Beck's talk.

1. Desire the spirit
2. Be worthy of the spirit
3. Read the scriptures daily
4. Pray daily
5. Record questions, impressions, and ideas
6. Act as Christ would have you act
7. Be in the right places by diminishing distractions
8. Ask for revelation, prepare for it and go forward with faith, trusting that it will be given
9. Participate in Relief Society

Over the next week or so I'd like to write a post on each of these different steps as I try to apply them in my life.

Today let's talk about desiring the spirit.

This step does not feel difficult to me. It can be at times, especially when I begin to feel apathetic. But when I am being conscientious about my life and my choices, I easily recognize the need for the spirit. Sadly, the times that I desire the spirit the most tend to be the times when I'm struggling the most. This makes sense, because when I am struggling I can't help but recognize my own frailty and weakness. It's at these times that I have to admit to myself that I am capable of almost nothing without God's help.

When I have allowed the Spirit to slip out of my life, I struggle emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I feel a lack of direction, a lack of motivation, a lack of hope. I feel an inexpressible need to escape.

It's awful...

But when I really think about it, it's a blessing. It helps me to remember how much I need God. It reminds me to turn my heart to Him. It makes me long for order, beauty, and simplicity. So, I find myself searching, praying, studying the words of Christ. And slowly, but surely, the spirit returns.

With the spirit in my life, I see the world with new eyes. My daughters are beautiful creations of God. My home is a sanctuary, a place for me to create. My roles as wife, mother, and homemaker are sacred and noble. My work is a joy.

With the spirit in my life, my mind is opened. My desire to learn is multiplied; my ability to do so is magnified. I feel full of light, and infinitely more capable of discerning truth.

For these reasons, and many, many more, feeling a true desire for the spirit is not hard for me.