We take it for granted; we go through the motions. But really, of all the incredible things that the gospel has to offer, isn't this one of the most amazing? Our Father in Heaven really hears and listens to our prayers. We are privileged to communicate with God!
This is what I try to remember as I work on improving my prayers. Far too often I can tell my prayers aren't making it outside of my head, let alone through the ceiling or across the universe to Heaven! The difference is sincerity, intentionality, and remembering the reality of what I am doing.
The interesting thing about prayers is that we normally subconsciously imagine to ourselves that prayer is for God's benefit, that somehow God needs us to pray to Him. This is why people are led to ask the questions, "If God already knows everything, why do I have to tell Him? If He knows what I want or what I need, why doesn't He just give it to me?"The answer is, we don't pray for God's benefit, we pray for our own. God DOESN'T need to be told anything. He DOES know all. The reason we are commanded to pray is because of the way it changes us, the way we are affected, when we articulate our gratitude, our needs, and our desires to Him. This is how we learn. This is how we progress. It is through prayer that we are meant to establish and develop a relationship with God and also gain greater insight into who we are.
Considering that these are goals and blessings associated with prayer, we need to be especially mindful that we don't fall into, what I like to call, the Genie Trap. I think we are all susceptible to the temptation of turning our prayers into our wish list. "Please make this happen, and please don't allow that to happen, and help me to be perfect, . . . " We cheapen our prayers when we allow ourselves to slip into this mode, and they become ineffectual.
Here's what I have learned about prayer:
1. Begin by addressing Heavenly Father.
Adjectives or no adjectives, the same adjective every time: it doesn't matter. As long as you are mindful of the fact that we REALLY ARE addressing the God of the universe and that He REALLY IS going to hear what we have to say. Let that carry weight with you. Feel the significance of what that means!
2. Express sincere gratitude for many things.
I think far more attention needs to be given to this step. Gratitude is a powerful emotion and I rarely feel it in such great force than when I am consciously considering my blessings before my Maker. We need to give ourselves time to quietly ponder what it is that we truly feel grateful for. It's all too easy to list off a bunch of items that we know we ought to thank Him for, but this will not suffice. Sometimes you won't be feeling particularly grateful when you first begin your prayer, but I can promise you from my own experience that if you will quiet your mind and sincerely seek to feel the preciousness of your blessings, the spirit will communicate it to your heart. And then, in honest gratitude, you can express your feelings to God. It's a beautiful thing.
3. Pray for OTHERS.
This is my own personal addition to the traditional steps. I need this step specified because I am inclined to extreme self-absorption. It is, again, all too easy to think of things that I want or need. It is far more difficult to remember others and pray for their needs. It is important to be specific. (This applies to our expressions of gratitude and prayers for ourselves as well.) It takes a lot more mental energy to pray for each person by name and even more so to think of what this person needs at this time. But this is the work of prayer. It's not meant to be easy. If it were, do you really think it would produce such wonderful changes in us? And the effort required cultivates a Christlike nature that can be achieved in no other way. It requires awareness of others and helps us to develop charity.
4. Pray briefly for yourself.
Heavenly Father loves us, and He wants to hear what we have to say. He definitely cares about what we desire, but one of the things He is trying to teach us, what He is waiting for us to learn, is what we ought to be desiring. It seems to happen all the time that I find myself praying and praying for something I want so bad, not understanding why it's not happening, until finally it occurs to me that I'm praying for the wrong thing! What do I REALLY desire? I desire for the best possible outcome. I desire for my will to be one with God's. I desire to become all that He wants me to be, to experience all that He has in store for me. I have finally begun to grasp the power of the words, "But if not, . . . " and "Thy will be done." So, I still pray for what I believe is right and best, but I never forget that I don't know all that He knows, and I trust Him to do what is in my best interest.
5. Close in the name of Jesus Christ.
It is important to remember the significance of the fact that we pray in Christ's name. This should effect every other aspect of the prayer. When we close in the name of Jesus Christ, it means we are affirming that we believe that everything we have prayed for, everything that we have expressed, would be the same as if Christ had said it. This should stop you dead in your tracks when it comes to many things we commonly pray for. It should give you new perspective and clearer focus on the things that really matter. How do we know what Christ would say? It's in the scriptures. The principles that we learn there help teach us what to say and school our desires. Pray for charity, humility, faith. When you pray for these and other principles of the gospel, you can come before God with confidence that you will receive them.
"And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you." (3 Nephi 18:20)
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